Poetry, Pictures, and Rants, oh my!
Poetry, Pictures, and Rants, oh my!
(I honestly never thought I’d write one of these poems for myself, this originally started as a tribute for a niece, but apparently my body and muse had other plans… Bleeping the swear words as there are some)
I’m at the edge of my seat in awe and wonder
How the hell did this happen I do ponder,
Are my eyes playing some sort of trick,
As I look at the positive on the pee stick
Holy f—-ing s—t I say,
as the world around me begins to sway,
There is seriously no f—-ing way,
That I’m f—-ing pregnant on this very day.
I guess that there were signs that I could see,
Like in the middle of the night having to go pee,
My boobs where tender and my mood is too,
My insides are cramping and I feel like poo.
So what do I do, and who do I tell,
I feel like I’m alone in this 9th ring of hell,
Until I see the monitor of the ultrasound,
And then it hits me in a way that’s profound.
All that’s there is a centimeter of matter,
That makes my heart go pitter patter,
This is my miracle that’s inside,
it makes me happy it makes me cry.
It makes me wonder what could have been,
If only our situation was different then we’re in.
Would we have kept this bundle of joy,
Would it be a girl or would it be a boy?
My time with you will end too soon,
I know I’d love you to the moon,
But someday soon I’ll say goodbye,
And someday soon over you I’ll cry.
(The writing process can be a painful experience, especially when it concerns matters of the heart, especially when you come to the painful realization that you are misinformed as to what is real and what is not. Having an epiphany, I decided it’s time to write, and write I did. Just an FYI, there is probably about 5 different 4 lettered words that could be considered associated with this poem; two of them would surprise those who think they know me)
I really wish I was your fave,
Your touch, your closeness I jones, I crave,
You know just how to make me cave,
I can’t say no, I’m not that brave.
Call it what you will, friends with a benefit,
Has left me jaded, and want the end of it,
You are a drug to me, I’m addicted from each hit,
But at the of the day it’s left me in such a fit.
From that first touch you left me addicted,
The messages you send leave me conflicted,
Though we’re not together, you kept me restricted,
Unless it’s a benefit to you, just as predicted.
My introduction to those letters that you gave,
Hit me with a crash like a tidal wave,
You were my anchor, my save,
And all I was was your willing slave
Rose colored glasses of yesterday’s past,
Started to fade, not meant to last,
Not sure when the spell that you cast,
Had started to break but break it did fast.
I know when you look at me, I know you see her,
The one in your heart of hearts you would prefer,
To ask of why you always deter,
Unless its to prove a point then always, sure.
Who could predict those four letters would spell the end,
Would change the course of our lives my friend,
Those letters can’t exactly be unsend,
And can’t put this heart on mend
I’ll always wish I was your fave,
It’s your touch I’ll always crave,
I hope our friendship is worth the save,
For every time we meet I’ll pretend I’m brave.
It gets harder and harder each time I see you, to let you go.
Not having that much courage, I’ll never let you know.
Each touch, each kiss is like a balm for this broken heart,
Each time I go to leave you, it breaks it back apart.
I’m now upon this crossroads, invisible to your eye,
To stay here or to leave here, I feel I’m going to die.
To tell you the truth would set me free but bring me complications,
Because I’m not sure it would change this path, our final destinations.
I’d hate to lose what I perceive, this benefit of you as a friend,
But feelings like this when not reciprocated take a downward trend.
Now should I be wrong, I have been before, it would be a lovely surprise.
But if I were right, what would be so much worse, would be a pretty little lie.
So here I’m torn, do I tell or do I hide,
This feeling of love I feel inside,
Do I turn away and never come back,
Into your arms, oh heart attack?!
Someday soon, I will move on,
Because one day soon you will be gone,
Please be kind to me when you do,
Or our friendship will soon be gone too.